Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
