i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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