Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
