I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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