I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
