why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
