it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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