No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
