I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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