Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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