dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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