Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
