Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
