I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize