I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
