how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
