he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
