i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize