So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
