I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
