Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
