i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
