fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize