You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
