Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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