and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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