Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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