OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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