why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
