Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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