question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
