I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
