the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
