So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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