Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
