good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
