Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Welp...herpes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
