butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
