Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize