So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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