I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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