when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
