That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
