he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize