A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
PANTIES FOUND
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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