strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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