AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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