this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
