i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
