i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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