i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
