That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
