think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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