just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize