I wanna passion pit in your ass
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
