Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
