dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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