OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
