using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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