i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
